Trying... Really Trying....

Today was the first time I got frustrated, I mean REALLY frustrated. I knew the paperwork phase would be long and loads of work, but I guess I wasn't prepared for the little mistakes that throw everything off.

Now is the time that I have to remind myself that when this is all over we will have our little one or ones home with us and it will have been all worth it.

Yesterday I scanned in 20 documents to be reviewed by our family coordinator. Most of them were approved, but she noticed that my vision section on my medical release wasn't filled out and our doctor accidentally put my name on Brian's medical letter. So, now we have to get those corrected.

I'm complaining, I know.  I also know that this is just the beginning and I'll have several more mistakes to correct in the future, but in the end: we will find in the journey. 

Decisions...

One question that we get asked over and over is if we will change our child's name. I'd like to say we have a definite answer to that, but then I'd be lying.

We do want to. But, it kinda depends on a few things:
       1) How old our child is when we finally get to bring them home
       2) If we can pronounce their given name

As of right now the plan is to change their name but to keep their Chinese name as their middle name. Although, I'm pretty sure that only applies to a girl because I think Brian wants to use his and his dad's middle name with a son.. so maybe our son would have 2 middle names? Who knows?

We have time to figure it all out, and even if we do figure it out, it could all change the moment we see their little faces. So, if we get a girl, her name will be Phoebe; and if we get a boy, his name will be Easton Douglas.

Hopefully we can bring home Phoebe AND Easton!

Answers....

1) We get asked all the time when we are going to China. That's simple: we have no idea. Usually I tell people that we have a ton of paperwork to get through, that we are in the 'paper-chase.'  That response is promptly followed up with "How long until you get the paperwork completed." Again, we have no idea and I'll explain why.
The paper-chase phase is aptly named.
I have to send away for specific documents that have to be certified/ notarized before they are sent to me. Once I receive them, I have to send them to the Secretary of State office (in the state the document originated) to certify that the certification/ notarization is legit. Once I get that back I have to sent it out AGAIN to the Chinese Embassy in the corresponding state to be authenticated and then wait for it to be sent back. Once ALL the documents are through that process and I've compiled the dossier, I will send it to our agency for review then it gets translated and sent to China for approval.
I've been told this usually takes 3-6 months to complete; we are just beginning this phase.

2) We had our home study on Valentine's Day. It went really well and took a long time! She was there from 10-4! Brian and I were interviewed separately and then together. After that, she walked around our house to make sure it was safe and such. We have a few timings to finish up for our social worker to make it official, but we passed our home study. She even said she would APPROVE US FOR 2 CHILDREN!! This is huge for us because we said from the beginning we wanted to adopt siblings, but siblings aren't very common in China. So getting the approval to adopt 2 unrelated children (hopefully a boy and a girl) is a dream come true!

3) What have we had to do up to this point?

This is my big binder, keeping it all organized

Get employment verification letters
Get referral letters
Get background checks and prove we are not on the sex offender registry
Get fingerprinted
Answer autobiographical questions
Fill out financial statements

Select guardians if something should happen to Brian and I

Write a special needs resource list

Get medical exams

Complete 10 hours of online training

Read several books and answer questions about one of them

Watch a 4 hour DVD

Write a disaster plan

... And all this is BEFORE the paper-chase

4) People are usually surprised when we tell them we are adopting special needs. But, special needs does mean the same thing in China.

A special needs child in China could be as simple as being older than 2. Special needs children are split into different classifications. We are adopting from the minor correctable classification. This most commonly means anything that can be fixed with surgery like cleft lip and minor heart problems. We decided that since we are blessed with such good health insurance, we should adopt children that we really and truly can help.

Not to mention it is a much faster process. It usually takes less than 2 years to get matched with a special needs child, while it takes between 6-7 years to get a "healthy" child.

It takes a village...

Throughout this whole process all we can ever ask of anyone is to pray for us.
            Pray that this process goes smoothly.           
            Pray that we'll be good parents.
            Pray for the safety and health of our child.
            Pray for safe travels when we go to China.

But let's be honest... it's no surprise that adoption is expensive and we'd be kidding ourselves if we thought we could do it alone. We have been so blessed by family and friends donating money to our agency and others starting fundraisers for us!

Words cannot begin to express how thankful we are, but I'm hoping a really awesome FAMILY photo will do the trick!

Check out how we are being helped:

Our agency provides a way for donation to be made directly to our account.

www.awaa.org

Scroll to the bottom and select 'Make a Donation'

Select 'Eternal Family Program' in the 'Designated Fund' box

Type 'Brian and Sabrina Gilbert' in the 'Designated Family' box

 

 

My cousin Dina started a fundraiser through Avon that ends 2-28-14.

http://dmgarcia.avonrepresentative.com/online_events/AFSABRINA2014

 

My cousin Angie and my Aunt Diana started a t-shirt fundraiser that ends 3-12-14.

https://www.booster.com/sweetbabygilbert

This spring my friend Heather will be hosting a 31 fundraiser for us... stay tuned for more information!

In March, my cousin Melissa will be hosting an Origami Owl fundraiser for us.

This is a picture of my OO necklace. My sis-in-law Danna bought this for me before we tried IVF the first time. Then, when we decided to adopt Melissa bought me the globe and the lady bug (they are good luck in China). I love these necklaces! I can't wait to get the tag that says 'find joy in the journey'!

From the beginning...

When the time finally came for us to start trying to have kids, Brian said that he wanted to adopt some day. Our 'plan' was to have 2 kids and then adopt when they were a little older. Well, plans changed.

After some time, we decided to seek out fertility specialists. We created a plan, started the medications and jumped in head first. We were certain, that with medical intervention, we were finally on track to becoming pregnant.

Brian preparing one of my many shots.

Brian on IVF Day

Sabrina on IVF Day

Everything went well, but the embryo's that were implanted didn't survive. We were devastated at first but knew that we would try again. After waiting the mandatory few months, we jumped in again. Meds were increased and tension was high. But we quickly learned that it just wasn't in the cards for us. We didn't even make it far enough into the process to try IVF again. I wasn't progressing quickly enough and we had to stop the medications. 

To make it seem like not all hope was lost, the doctors decided to try artificial insemination. Unfortunately, that didn't work either. 

We had been praying hard that this procedure work or that the desire to be pregnant be taken away. We knew that I wouldn't be able to handle going through this process again without KNOWING that was the path we were supposed to take. 

I'm not even kidding: about a week or so later I felt GOOD. I didn't have this cloud hanging over me anymore. I felt lighter and a little less stressed. We started really talking about adopting and then it just happened. We found the agency, applied, and were accepted. I can truly say that I'm not sad about not getting pregnant and honestly I hardly ever thing about it! 

Our hearts are set on our little one in China and we are waiting not-so-patiently until the day we get to meet him or her!

Home Study Update

After having to be rescheduled due to the 'Polar Vortex,' the first part of our home study (the interviews) will take place this Friday (2-14-14)!

It's all new to me...

I've gone back and forth a lot trying to decide if we should blog about our adoption process. After reading other families' blogs, I decided to take the leap. I think we would have regretted not creating one later when our little one isn't so little any more and we didn't have anything to show him or her about their journey to us. Plus, I'm hoping this will serve as a one-stop-shop for keeping our family up to date on all the adoption happenings!

So, keep in mind I'm new to this blogging thing, I don't have a ton of time to work on it, and it's a work in progress. 

That said, enjoy!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if he hears us -whatever we ask- we know 

hat we have what we asked of him.

1 John 5:14-15